I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
