how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
