drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
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