Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
