is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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