Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
