Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
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