I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
