nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
