I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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