Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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