Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
