He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
