She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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