I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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