guys are only as good as the porn they watch
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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