My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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