I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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