Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.