Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?