Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet