So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Don't say a word.
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.