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What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
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