either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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