you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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