It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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