he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
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