singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
