This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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