..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
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