I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize