So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Randomize
