well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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