Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
