He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
