Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
