i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
