Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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