They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
only if we run a train.
done.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
