let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
