Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
