I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
