I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
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