Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
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