He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
