I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize