If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
