Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I wish I could punch you in the face.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
