Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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