girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
