what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
