You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
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I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
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You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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