I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
And then he peed in my hair
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