What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
