Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
