don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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