Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
