yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
