It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
