he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
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