she takes plan B like it's going out of style
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
